That's what I'm talking about, that's how shit should get done on a Monday morning!
So yeah, about that. That's not 100% how it goes down in my house on a Monday morning. Yes, my house is white and although I am not the president, according to Foursquare I am the mayor of the Redneck Palace. That has to count for something right? Like yeah, duh, of course it does. So there it is, Monday morning, not quite 8am more like 5:30/6 o'clock. I'm just barely awake, depending on the coffee intake. I stop for a moment
Kids are occupied: check!
It's now time for a some mommy time!
I slowly walk down the hall to the bathroom, I step inside and slowly close the door. *holds breath and waits* Still quite, good to go. I sit down
WTF was that?!?!?! A stampede comes down the hallway and the bathroom, which was just seconds ago a personal battle against those damn pigs that just won't die, has now become..........The Situation Room. The
"Who's picking us up from school?"
"Pheobe told me that I can't bring anything for circle time."
"Toe say me no eat cereal."
"I don't want to wear underwear today."
*tandem moon shine*
etc, etc, etc.......
And I sit there answering questions thinking I should have brought my coffee in with me.
"I'm picking you up today."
"You can bring one thing to circle time, but that's it."
"You can eat all the cereal you want lady bird."
"You have to wear underwear because you're not good at wiping your own butt yet."
"Pull your pants up, no moons during the day."
Then I explain the routine for the rest of the morning. Get dressed, put coats on, grab lunch boxes, get in the car, bring BF his coffee at work, go to school. Everyone is on board and ready to go! Ready, break! I then try to hustle them back out the door so I can wipe my butt in peace without someone saying, "Ewwwwww!!!!"
And that's how it goes down in The Situation room here at the Redneck Palace. We get shit done, literally. I'm sure the President would be extremely jealous if he new just how fabulous it is in my Situation Room. I'm sure y'all are jealous too. It's ok, I live the high life, I'm use to people wanting all that I have. Here, have a tissue. You too can be this lavish if you really try.