Friday, February 25, 2011

The Geography of Women

One of my beautiful sister's sent me "The Geography of Women" and I couldn't resist putting it up here to share with everyone. I would like to add one thing before you read on, I LOVE being Spain!!!!


Between 18 and 22, a woman is like AFRICA ;

Half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally beautiful!

Between 23 and 30, a woman is like EUROPE ;

Well developed and open to trade, especially for someone of real value.

Between 31 and 35, a woman is like SPAIN ;

very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.

Between 36 and 40, a woman is like GREECE ;

gently aging but still a warm and desirable place to visit.

Between 41 and 50, a woman is like GREAT BRITAIN ;

with a glorious and all conquering past.

Between 51 and 60, a woman is like ISRAEL ;

Has been through war, doesn't make the same mistakes twice,and takes care of business.

Between 61 and 70, a woman is like CANADA ;

self-preserving, but open to meeting new people.

After 70, she becomes TIBET ;

Wildly beautiful, with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages, an adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge.


Between 1 and 90, a man is like IRAN ;

ruled by nuts.

The End

Friday, February 18, 2011

Wonder Woman Spin Transformation and Lasso - First Season

Funny thing is, the same thing happens to me every time I spin. It's the oddest thing.

Friday, February 11, 2011

For The Love Of Poop! Starring 'The Ghost Poop'

My whole life I have had this weird fascination with poop (and general bowel movements). It's no secret, you've read my blog. This fascination has been handed down to my children........and is evidently contagious because my boyfriend has since joined in. And I'm not just talking about his pledge to try to keep my children away from the bathroom so I can finally poop for the first time in 3 days. I mean he has become outwardly excited about major bowel movements. It all started with him giving these creative names to some of his babies poops:

Tiger Stripes: There's so much in there that when you flush it streaks the bowl, resembling the markings of the mighty jungle tiger.

Dry Dock: You do this in the toilets of your enemies. It leaves evidence of your 'visit' for a longer period of time than scent a lone. It is a difficult poop to perform let alone master. It was explained to me that the trick to this poop is to poop right as the bowel is emptying thus 'dry docking' your 'ship' on the inside of the bowel. I consider this a thing of epic awesomeness!!!! This may or may not be why I love my boyfriend so much.

When I am in a bad mood all he has to do is mention one of these two poops and I am immediately lmao and feeling better. Like I said, this may or may not be why I love him so much. Now on to "The Ghost Poop".

A few weeks ago BF came out of the bathroom with a look of distain on his face. He looked confused for a few seconds and then lit up like firefly!
BF: You HAVE to blog about the ghost poop!
Me: The what poop?
Me: ???????
BF: There you are, sitting on the toilet.
Me: *shakes head and snickers*
BF: You 'feel' it come out.
Me: *closes eyes and crinkles nose*
BF: You 'hear' it hit the 'feel' the water hit your ass. You even 'heard' it come out.
Me: *eyes water from holding in laughter*
BF: You wipe, and there's proof that you pooped.
Me: *cheeks filling with giggle gas*
BF: You get up and look in the toilet and THERE'S NOTHING THERE!!!! Nothing. Except toilet paper!!! Butyoufeltitcomeout. Youfeltthewaterhityourbutt! BUT THERE'S NOTHING THERE!!!!! It's a GHOST POOP!!!! *takes a Ta Da! stance*
Me: Bwahahahahaha!!!!!!!

I'm not sure which part of this whole conversation got me laughing more, the idea of a ghost poop, the excitement in his voice, or his overall expression of excitement throughout his ENTIRE body. All I know is that the poop fascination has officially spread to my dear sweet BF, so much so that I now get notices when a ghost poop, or other phenamenal poop, has occurred. He needs to create an app for that.

I really do consider myself lucky to have found someone with an equal admiration of bowel movements.