Friday, March 11, 2011

Poopy Puppy

I once again find myself dog sitting.....willingly. Not sure how this happens. I can't stand dogs much in the way that the old bag down the street can't stand children. I mean, they're ok for short periods of time as long as you can give them back. And by short periods of time I mean no more than 5 minutes. Dogs smell like shit stink. Especially when they chew their toe nails (btw, I dislike feet). The only thing worse than that smell is wet dog smell. Related: The dog came to my house started raining......yesterday. Did you know that dogs have to poop outside to avoid poop paintings by toddlers? Well they do, which means I have to walk this dog outside, in the rain, an ungodly amount of times a day 2 or 3 times a day.

This morning I take said dog out for a walk so that he may relieve himself on some poor un-expecting trees and sign posts. We pace a small section of sidewalk (in the rain) and add more liquid to the surrounding trees. Lucky them. As I was about to have enough of this rain and urine business, said dog gives a big oak a loving look. He circles the tree to size it up. He sniffs up and down the bark. He pees in several spots. He then proceeds to back his hind end UP the tree as if climbing it backwards.

Once the dog is practically perpendicular to the ground he commences to poop....and poop....and poop......and poop. All the while trying to stay with his butt up the tree. I was pretty sure this dog pooped out a small cat. I had to do a head count of my three cats once we got back inside to ensure they were all, in fact, still alive. A look of accomplishment came over the dog's face once he was done doing whatever it was he was doing. I have to wonder if this look of accomplishment for being able to poop up a tree while perpendicular to the ground or for the sheer amount of poop that actually came out of a 15 pound dog. Perhaps I will never know.


  1. well... you did say you found poop to be hilarious... perhaps this was the dog's version of a joke!