Friday, February 11, 2011

For The Love Of Poop! Starring 'The Ghost Poop'

My whole life I have had this weird fascination with poop (and general bowel movements). It's no secret, you've read my blog. This fascination has been handed down to my children........and is evidently contagious because my boyfriend has since joined in. And I'm not just talking about his pledge to try to keep my children away from the bathroom so I can finally poop for the first time in 3 days. I mean he has become outwardly excited about major bowel movements. It all started with him giving these creative names to some of his babies poops:

Tiger Stripes: There's so much in there that when you flush it streaks the bowl, resembling the markings of the mighty jungle tiger.

Dry Dock: You do this in the toilets of your enemies. It leaves evidence of your 'visit' for a longer period of time than scent a lone. It is a difficult poop to perform let alone master. It was explained to me that the trick to this poop is to poop right as the bowel is emptying thus 'dry docking' your 'ship' on the inside of the bowel. I consider this a thing of epic awesomeness!!!! This may or may not be why I love my boyfriend so much.

When I am in a bad mood all he has to do is mention one of these two poops and I am immediately lmao and feeling better. Like I said, this may or may not be why I love him so much. Now on to "The Ghost Poop".

A few weeks ago BF came out of the bathroom with a look of distain on his face. He looked confused for a few seconds and then lit up like firefly!
BF: You HAVE to blog about the ghost poop!
Me: The what poop?
Me: ???????
BF: There you are, sitting on the toilet.
Me: *shakes head and snickers*
BF: You 'feel' it come out.
Me: *closes eyes and crinkles nose*
BF: You 'hear' it hit the 'feel' the water hit your ass. You even 'heard' it come out.
Me: *eyes water from holding in laughter*
BF: You wipe, and there's proof that you pooped.
Me: *cheeks filling with giggle gas*
BF: You get up and look in the toilet and THERE'S NOTHING THERE!!!! Nothing. Except toilet paper!!! Butyoufeltitcomeout. Youfeltthewaterhityourbutt! BUT THERE'S NOTHING THERE!!!!! It's a GHOST POOP!!!! *takes a Ta Da! stance*
Me: Bwahahahahaha!!!!!!!

I'm not sure which part of this whole conversation got me laughing more, the idea of a ghost poop, the excitement in his voice, or his overall expression of excitement throughout his ENTIRE body. All I know is that the poop fascination has officially spread to my dear sweet BF, so much so that I now get notices when a ghost poop, or other phenamenal poop, has occurred. He needs to create an app for that.

I really do consider myself lucky to have found someone with an equal admiration of bowel movements.


  1. Reading it az im on the thrown

  2. Methinks you may have found your soul mate.

    Margaret (@goodbadfamily)

  3. How about the one where you swear you're being violated from the inside out?